In The “Mom Wars”, I am the “Honeybadger Mom”

You’ve heard of the mommy wars, yes? How could you not- it’s everywhere. Moms pitted against moms on how they should be, or how they are perceived to not be, parenting.

This war doesn’t seem to be waning. Moms are still all up in arms to defend how they parent and cut down others that don’t agree with them. Some moms even call other moms BAD MOMS because they don’t parent in the same way they do, which apparently is the “right” way to parent.

The SAHM v. Full Time Working Mom.

Breast Feeding v. Formula.

Baby wearing v. Stroller Pusher.

All organic v. food from a can.

You know what camp I’m in? The Honeybadger Moms.  Just like the honey badger, I don’t give a shit. I don’t care what others think of my parenting, and I really could care less how you decide to parent your kids. That’s your business.

My parenting style is for my kids. Period. It is for their well-being. It is to instill in them values, morals, and a world view that my husband and I have determined to be important for us to pass on to them.

My parenting is not for anyone else. Thus, I don’t care what they think of it.

You know what I think about the parenting styles of others? Good for them. They are doing what they feel is good for the well-being of their children and are instilling in them values, morals, and a world view that is important to them.

You want to breastfeed in the middle of Old Navy while you clothes shop for your other kids? Go for it. You want to formula feed your kids from day one and use the generic target brand of formula? Good for you.

Your kids eat all organic everything, no exceptions? Kudos, mom!

Your kids had Lucky Charms for dinner? Whatever works for you!

You pick out your clothes for your kids and make sure everything is matchy-matchy, do their hair, and carry a tide stick in your purse? Power to you.

Your kids come downstairs ready for school wearing tights, a tutu, a plaid shirt and rainboots? Style on, mom.

I’m not in their shoes. I don’t know what their life experiences are. I don’t know what their day, night, week, month has been like. Besides, who the hell am I to tell them what to do?

A family may be all “being outdoors is the best!” while another family is fully embroiled in the tech industry. Maybe you grew up getting homemade meals served to you from veggies grown out in your garden; maybe you grew up getting frozen family dinners in front of Family Feud everynight. Maybe you had a combination of both.


How in the world is anyone else’s parenting style affecting you in the least? Why in the world would you care what other people think about your parenting? Are your kids happy? Are they loved? Are they kept out of imminent harm? Do you protect them? Do you teach them right from wrong?

GREAT. However you show them you love them, however you protect them- GOOD FOR YOU MOM! YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!

You think I should have my kid go to bed earlier/later? You think I should give them more fruits and veggies? You think I should give them more time/less time with tv? You think I should give them less/more freedom?

Here comes Honeybadger. I don’t care what you think. You are not their mom, you are not in my shoes, you do not know my family, you do not know what is important to me.

I don’t give a shit that you feed your kids spaghetti-o’s from the can or if you give them organic free-range beef meatballs with quinoa spaghetti.

I don’t give a shit that you let your kids run around barefoot in the neighborhood or if you make them wear protective gear walking down the sidewalk.

I don’t give a shit if you spend all day watching reruns of SpongeBob or if you spend the afternoon making crafts from old toilet paper rolls you’ve saved all year.

I am not sure when how one parent makes decisions for their family it started being taken as an insult by the parents that do something different. For example:

Mom 1: “OMG I am so tired, I can’t wait for my Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte to kick in! My kids hogged the bed all night and I barely slept, what with the feet in my face!”

Mom 2: “I let my kids cry it out, are you saying I’m a bad mom because I don’t let the rugrats climb in bed with me and they are going to require therapy because I didn’t cater to their every whimper?”


When did that start happening?

Parents- do your thing. To hell with what everyone else thinks. I think, admittedly, that we all want to be seen as doing the right thing when it comes to being a parent. When someone questions your parenting decisions, or outright declares them as the wrong thing to do, you take it personally.

The only people it really matters to is those in your immediate family. And if you think about it, you don’t let the kids call the shots, so really the only person it matters to is you.

And moms, you’re doing a great job.

Join me in being a Honeybadger Mom.

Have a great crazy day!

Where’d Summer Go?


Summer. Lazy days out in the sun. Sleeping late. No schedule.

That was not my summer. My summer was so crazy that before I could sit down and enjoy it, I found myself opening up the windows in the evening, turning off the a/c and putting on a sweater.

When in the store shopping for my favorite summer beverage to enjoy on one of those lazy days, I had the option of Octoberfest or Pumpkin Ale.

Out buying clothes for my kids, I was amongst the hottest in puffer snow jackets, snow boots and a variety of snowman hats and mittens.

What the hell? Where did summer go?

This morning my daughter asked me why I was getting up for work in the middle of the night. On my way home from work, I saw the sun setting.

Where did my long, summer days go?

Looking back to my collection of summer blog posts….wait. Where are all my summer blog posts?

They are in pictures. They are in memories. They are in stories told over dinner and to my mom over the phone. I still have yet to put them on paper. Alas.

So I will share my summer of blog posts in pictures, which never materialized into the written story. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so this blog post is going to be approximately 15,000 words long, but won’t take as much time to read.

See ya, summer of ’15.


There was plenty of watermelon to be had, dripping down hands and down necks and making hair sticky. I’d like to say there were as many baths, but no. There was just sticky kids.

water balloons

The favorite pastime in the early days of summer was water balloons. Oh, all the water balloons! Which turned into tiny particles of balloon remnants all over the lawn, like summer confetti. My husband muttered that he “wasn’t supposed to rake until fall.”

lightening bus

We did the whole traditional glass mason jar with holes in the top to catch fireflies. You know the one problem with that? Fireflies don’t really come out in the summer until dusk-ish, which is around 11pm practically. I love the longer, sunny, days, but when you have tired, cranky kids waiting to catch fireflies it makes for a long day.


Time with beach grammy. She took time off from the beach on a couple weekends to hang out. So nice of her.


We joined a pool and spent many hours trying to keep our kids from drowning. Mahlie, thankfully, learned to swim. Sarah THOUGHT she knew how to swim and would intermittently jump into the water without her floatie. She does not know how to swim, so that caused some anxiety.

evan sparklers

On the Fourth of July we always light off sparklers for Evan. It was his favorite holiday.

OBX bay

OBX walk

OBX girlsWe took our annual vacation to OBX with family. The girls loved our morning walks on the beach and days in the pool. It is one of our most favorite vacations.

NS family

cousins on swing

We had a last North Shores friends and family dinner at our beach house. Someone may have ended up in the bushes, and we never did find out who the poor mystery guy was that mistakenly was added to our group text and we refused to remove him even when he told us he had no idea who we were. Summer is all about making friends.

The porch swing in our courtyard that has been the focal point of decades of family photo’s is now in my garage. I took it with me, along with its wonderful memories.

girls and smoopshmoop

We said good-bye to Mira, that big goofy shmoople stink head that was my best furry lovey. I will miss her, even though she is not quite gone. Her ashes are on our mantle and her dog hair is still all over our floor. Probably will be forever. That crazy lunkhead shed like you would not believe. I would give anything for one last smash kiss. Sarah still walks around trying to find “her doggie” and thinks she is at camp.

ice cream mess

SJ proved to be quite adept at making a mess eating fudgecicles, and was required to eat them naked on the patio.


The garden- it’s done! Right in time for Fall! Bring on the kale.


What good is summer without a festival? Mahlie got dolled up like a princess with her cousin and rode an elephant. I did laundry. I think she had a better day.

dockI said good-by to 3 Harbor. The beach house that I will always and forever consider my home. One last look at the view. I will see it in my dreams and soon over the mantle. My high school friend has painted a 22″x77″ canvas of my most favorite view. I can’t wait to have it hanging up!

off to school

And nothing says “end of summer” like the first day of school. Off goes my 1st grader, in all her My Little Pony gear.

Have a great crazy day!

My Kids Never Knew The Difference

Rainbow Dash


The historic SCOTUS decision on Friday ensuring all individuals have the equal right to marriage under the law is the kind of event that you remember the exact place you were when you heard the news.

Which is funny now that I write that, because I actually have no idea where I was. That occurred more than 3 days ago, which is apparently beyond the length of time my mom brain is able to remember things these days.

BUT, if this monumental decision had taken place at a time before I had kids, (which is probably closer to the time it SHOULD have been decided, though in my head it was just sort of not ever an issue that should even be argued. but let’s keep what goes on in my head out of things), I would have remembered exactly where I was.

One thing I do know is that my kids won’t. They won’t remember where they were. Because they are really young. And how wonderful is that?

My kids will never have known the difference.

I debated on if, and how, I should talk to my 5 year old about it. An opportunity came up when she was sneaking on my phone and ended up on my Facebook page and saw all the rainbow colored profile pictures.

She asked me why everyone was rainbow?

“Is it because they like My Little Pony?”

Because  My Little Pony has a character, Rainbow Dash, and My LIttle Pony is all she is concerned about and thus it should be all anyone else is ever concerned about.

So I took my chance.

“Well, today a very important decision was made that says everyone is allowed to get married.”

“You and daddy couldn’t get married? But you are married.”

Yeah, here is where I ran into the 5 year old brain.

“Yes, we are married. And who else do we know that are married on our street?”

There was a point to this.

“Bob and Phyllis” (not their real names).

“That’s right- and Sally and Carl across the street. You know who else is married on our street?”


“Teresa and Alison.”

BIG look of surprise on her face.

“But they are both girls!”

“I know. But they love each other so they wanted to get married. But they had to wait a long time because they weren’t allowed before.”

“WHAT!?!?!? Why not?!?! THAT’S CRAZY!!!”

You’ll notice she didn’t think it was crazy that Teresa and Alison loved each other and wanted to get married. She thought it was crazy they weren’t allowed to get married.

So that is how I talked to my kid about how everyone that loves someone is able to get married. I asked her if she had any other questions. She had just one. Said it was really important.

“Sooooo, can I watch My Little Pony now?”

Have a great crazy day!

If I Had a Million Dollars….I Wouldn’t Spend it on a Birthday Party


This is my most viewed and popular post since I’ve started my blog. I guess it resonated with moms and dads everywhere when planning bday parties! My sis-in-law planned a great petting zoo party this weekend and she dreaded it but it was great. And now it is that time of year when I plan Mahlie’s bday. This year it is a 6 guest limit (her age) My Little Pony piñata party at home. We may throw in a sprinkler on the front lawn. There will be beer butt chicken (her request) and baked mac n cheese (my thought that not all kids will take to the chicken). But what won’t I do? Any of the below…

Originally posted on My Special Kind of Crazy:

You know the Barenaked Ladies song “If I Had A Million Dollars”? If not, for shame. If so, it lists a bunch of ridiculous things one would buy if they had a million dollars including, and my fav, a monkey (I always wanted a monkey).

One thing I would NOT do is spend it on a birthday party for my kids. Not even a little bit of it.

One, I am only organized enough to begin planning and preparing a themed Birthday Party in my head. When it comes to carrying out said plans, it’s like 2 days before Sweets’ birthday and by then I am all “let’s get pizza and cupcakes and be done with it”.

And you know what? Sweets loves it. Has a great time! No complaints! Imagine that! Kids just want to hang out with their friends, family and eat a little cake. Okay, a LOT of cake.

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Last Day of Kindergarten

Today is Sweets’ last day as a Kindergartener. It’s not the last time I will celebrate this milestone, or mourn the loss of my sweet, sweet baby as she turns more and more into a lovely girl. But each milestone is still a reminder that they are growing up.

Which is wonderful. But gone are the pudgy legs and misprounounced words. Goodby “skameeto” and “skabetti”.

Goodbye to needing me all the time.

But hello to being able to put her underwear on correctly by herself and brushing her teeth independently (or pretending to brush her teeth while only eating toothpaste and wetting the sink to “fool” me).

I thought about how to document this last day- how she has grown from the first day to the last.

Instead, I am celebrating that Sweets is still the goofy, fun loving, not taking everything too seriously, little girl that I love, love, love. Sure, she’s growing up, but well, watch for yourself.

Happy Last Day Of Kindergarten Sweets! And congrats to all the momma’s and dad’s that are seeing their kids off to kindergarten for the last time today.

Have a great crazy day!

A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Words

We’ve all seen the “perfect family” photo shoot. That one time a year you get the family together and threaten to take away all manner of joy from their lives if they don’t sit and smile for the camera.

And the pictures come back GREAT. The kids are sitting pretty, they are smiling, they are doing exactly what they are being told to do.

Then there is MY family. Don’t get me wrong, the pictures I am going to show are absolutely BEAUTIFUL and WONDERFUL.

But I also think they show the true personality of our kids, the dynamics of our family, and the fact that it’s not all smiles all the time.

The kids bicker. They don’t want to sit, they want to run. They cry.

They also love each other. They know that their dad and I love them. I think that is clearly evident in all these pictures.

I’ve used Adrea Scheidler as my photographer ever since I decided to suck it up and get a professional to do my family pictures. Our first shoot was when I was 7 months pregnant with Sarah and Mahlie was wary of this person with the camera. But not for long!  The second was with just myself and the girls when Sarah was just 4 months old and Mahlie was overjoyed to be the center of someone, ANYONE’s attention for a period of time. Then this April, with Sarah a feisty toddler and Mahlie a “photographer’s dream” when it came to cooperation.

Let me tell you that the experience I have had with Adrea has been….magical. She captures my family in a way I cannot. She has built a relationship with Mahlie and, well, Sarah will come around.

I will take credit (well, at least some of it) for the beautiful kids. The pictures are all credited to the brilliance of Adrea Scheidler Photography.

family sitting

There is always a non-smiler in the bunch. This is Sarah’s typical “camera face”.

family standing

This is also typical- one of us is always trying to coral Sarah and keep her with us.

sister love

Loving Big Sister

girls sitting

A more frequent Annoyed Big Sister


Partners in crime and best friends


How many of our days look like.


Sometimes it is hard being Sarah


Drying tears


Nothing like Daddy dancing with a purse on his head to get her laughing again.

Mahlie and Mommy

Kisses are pretty abundant

daddy love

Hanging out with “my Pi”

SJ standing

The face of trouble, earning her the nickname, “Wrecking Ball”


My beautiful Sweets

grown up sweets

My beautiful “oh my gosh you look so grown up I’m going to cry!” Sweets.


My beautiful disheveled sweets :)

And here, how our family has grown with Adrea….


Family of 3, and one on the way


Loving her sister from the very beginning


Not always a fan of getting her picture taken. Didn’t take long for her to warm up to Adrea though!

young m

Sweets turned into a very willing participant for Adrea

little sis.big sis

She was a super big sis from the start.


Signs of things to come….

young girls

I am one lucky momma!


Yep, I am still one lucky momma!


Actually, I am one lucky woman. ;)

Have a great crazy day!