I’m The Worst. So Is Grilled Cheese.

This week my child was “sick”. She legit started out sick with a 102 fever, so in an ill-advised move, my husband kept SJ home instead of loading her up with Tylenol and sending her on her way.

You’d think he was a rookie.

Tuesday, she was fever free. Off to school she went! Bravo!

Then I got a call at 11:30. She had a fever of 102 and could I come pick her up.

When I got to her she looked disheveled, but that is pretty normal. The administrator with her told me that the teachers suspected perhaps she did not feel well when she was sitting quietly. That’s right, because my child wasn’t running around like a lunatic, that spurred concern for her health. They took her temp and it was 102.

When I got her home, a whole 2 blocks later, her temp was 98.1. And yet, we were home sick.

This was her:

She was pretty weak, but somehow managed to spread glitter and glue everywhere.

Taking a much needed nap….wait, no, she’s putting every single babydoll she has “to bed”, just not herself.

This was also her. Disclaimer: I know sometimes people have a hard time watching videos of sick children. You have been warned.

Since I know “sick” children often don’t have an appetite, I told her I’d make her anything she wanted for dinner. She wanted a grilled cheese sandwich.

She also wanted to help make it, despite being bedridden in her illness. She spread the butter on the bread, put the cheese on, and put it in the skillet. She was one happy, even if very sick, child.

When it was done I cut it into the 4 pieces as requested and put it in front of her.

She burst into tears.

“I DON’T WANT GRILLED CHEESE, I DON’T EVEN LIKE GRILLED CHEESE ANYMORE! WHY DID YOU GIVE ME THIS! YOU ARE THE WORST!”

Thank you to all that sent their thoughts and prayers for her speedy recovery. It worked.

Have a great, crazy day!

 

 

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Snow Day, Sick Day and “Sleeping In”

Sleeping In

Everyone has been commiserating on being housebound due to the snow. Parents are pulling out their hair trying to keep their kids busy so they can take a shower.

The first couple snow days are all “whoo hoo! Let’s make a fort! Let’s make a snow man! Let’s go sledding!” The 3rd, 4th, 5th snow date and parents are all “where’s the coffee!? Screw the coffee, wine is now a breakfast drink!”

You know what is worse than a snow day and being stuck inside with your 4 year old, 1 year old and your husband? Being stuck inside and being sick.

God knows I love Pi, but I am not sure who I was going to kick out of the house first- him or the kids.

First, let me give kudos to him for 1)not losing my snow scraper again and 2)digging my car out of the snow multiple times.

He also let me sleep in BOTH Saturday and Sunday since I wasn’t feeling well. I also think he was tired of me dragging around the house looking all miserable-like. I wasn’t doing that to encourage him to let me sleep in, I WAS miserable-like.

But there is sleeping in and there is sleeping in and keeping one ear out for the sounds of kids being injured and breaking the house.

When you are a mom, you really only SLEEP in when there are no kids within a 100 mile radius. When you are given the opportunity to “sleep in” at home while your significant other “takes care” of the kids, the gesture is immensely appreciated (I know he doesn’t read my blog, but his family does!), but also understood that I wouldn’t really be sleeping. I would more be laying in bed with kids intermittently running in and telling me that “daddy won’t let me do anything!”

So you appreciate the gesture (immensely- did I mention that?) but when you go downstairs for a coffee refill and find said girls “doing their nails” with open nail polish bottles all over the floor and your immensely appreciated significant other is sitting at the kitchen table in an entirely different room reading the news on his blackberry “for just a minute”, that gesture seems more like a passive-aggressive tactic to ensure I NEVER SLEEP IN AGAIN!

Well played Pi, well played.

And who are we kidding? I will totally take him up on his offer to “sleep in” again. I’m not crazy….or am I?

Have a great crazy day!

It’s All In A Sick Day

There is nothing worse than a sick kid.

The bodies that are usually in constant motion are limp and lethargic.

The eyes that usually have a glint of mischieviousness are dull and heavy.

The constant chit-chat that at times drives you INSANE is replaced by silence, with an occasional nod or shake of the head to answer your questions.

And their aim when they have to puke is really, really awful.

Yesterday Sweets was home sick for the 2nd day in a row. Pi was home with her and he wasn’t feeling so hot himself. I get a call around 8am at the office; “can you come take Noggin to the nanny’s because Sweets is puking everywhere.”

Okay then.

I live all of 5 blocks from work, so I get home in record time to see the beginning signs of another puke episode…..

FROM THE DOG.

Yep. So 2 down in my house.

Pi walks down and looks like death warmed over. I thought it was from the experience of cleaning up the Linda Blair incident, but he says:

“My throat is on fire”.

3 down.

I am feeling fine. I will probably start feeling not so fine oh, somewhere around Thursday night when my WEEKEND ALONE begins. That’s right. I am going to the beach on Friday morning BY MYSELF. Which just about guarantees that I will get some sort of super bug that will knock me out of commission.

I am staying far, far, far away from my family for the next 24 hours….

“Pi, I am working late tonight…you’ve got the kids, right?”

Have a great crazy day!

5 Reasons Why Being Sick When You Have Kids Sucks

On the last day of school before Spring Break we get a call from 3M’s school. “Um, 3M’s eye is really red and gross. You need to come pick her up.” That was at 1pm.

Let me back up.

At 6am we noticed 3M’s eye was red. We both needed to work. We sent her to school and said, “let’s see how long it takes them to figure out she might have pink eye.”

Answer: 4 hours.

Yes, yes- we were those parents that day. Believe me, when my child is sick and pathetic and all she wants to do is sleep, I keep her home. But here she was, running around like the damn energizer bunny…the energizer bunny with the goop eye.

So fine, I pick her up, take her to the doctor where they very quickly say “yep, pink eye! Here’s your prescription!”. Super- an all too rare quick trip to the doctor! But just then….

3M picks her nose and oh so gracefully sticks the nose picking finger in her mouth. I just think, “ew”. The doc sees her and thinks:

“Um, why don’t we do a quick check for strep….”. BUSTED. Farewell all too rare quick doctors visit!

Of course she had strep and of course all our plans got turned upside down, which she was none too happy about because she felt fine.

You know who didn’t feel fine 3 days later?

Yeah, mommy. Mommy felt like she got run over by a truck. Being sick with kids sucks. Let me tell you why it sucks.

1. Couch time is no longer yours. See, since my illness came at Spring Break, 3M was home from school. So there was no laying about on the couch watching the Foodnetwork or Ellen DeGeneres or catching up on General Hospital and dreaming about Sonny Corinthos and being a mobsters mistress. Nope. In order to be able to sit and rest and not entertain 3M with innumerable games of Chutes and Ladders, I had to turn on Dora and Bubble Guppies and then stick in Cinderella for the umpteenth time. Boots is no Sonny, I’ll tell you that. And I was all scrunched up in a corner because 3M was all “you’re in my space, move your feet, that’s my pillow, you’re taking up too much room.” She’s treating the couch like her personal movie theater/jungle gym when I feel like it is my hospital bed/coffin. Not a match made in heaven.

2. The kids recognize your weakness. Usually a stern, “put that back” or a “don’t make me come over there” or starting to count to 3 will steer my angelic 3M from engaging in whatever illicit activity she had up her sleeve. But when you have the energy of a sloth, can’t see because your eyes are crusted shut, your voice is as menacing as a frog and you can’t be vertical for more than 5 seconds before the vertigo strikes and you are in danger of puking all ove the floor, kids take this time to go for it. Oh, you say I can’t have this lollipop or ten for breakfast? What are you going to do about it? And she is right. I am going to do nothing about it because if I move from the couch I am going to die.

3. Noise Sensitivity. When you are sick, noise- any of it- is like nails on a chalkboard. And kids, quite conveniently, have no volume control. And since you are talking all meak and quiet and croaky, they think you can’t hear them and they get even louder and are now screaming “CAN I HAVE ANOTHER LOLLIPOP WHILE I AM JUMPING ON THE COUCH PLEASE!!”

4. Poorly Timed Coughs and Sneezes. I am not one of those “quiet sneezers”. You know, the ones that when they sneeze make barely a sound and it’s all cute and you’re like “wow, did you really sneeze?” Nope. I am a deafening, wake the dead, stomp my feet, nearly throw my back out from the recoil type sneezer. And you know when this sneeze will typically take place? The moment I am putting SJ down for a nap or finally getting her down to bed…gently now, gentle, no jostling….that is when my “holy smokes I think the foundation of the house was just damaged!” sneeze occurs. Loud wail….pick SJ back up….more rocking….

5. My Husbands Good Intentions. He means well. He really does. He is a hands on to the max fab-u-lous daddy. Nothing is a chore for him when it comes to his kids and he will take over without blinking. But it’s one thing for the husband to be in charge when you’re not there. You come home to a house that isn’t burnt to the ground, kids in one piece, fed/clothed (well….) and in bed. When you ARE there, you are witnessing firsthand how he manages and it is NOTHING like how you discussed as a couple on how you would do things. Where’s the fruit 3M is supposed to have for breakfast? How many episodes of Bubble Guppies are you letting her watch? What is she having for snack? As much as I am FINE with leaving him in charge, when I am there, I just really need him to do things my way. And you also can’t help but overhear questions like, “where did mommy put this?”, “what does Mommy do when…?” and in your head you are thinking, “I know exactly where “that” is” and “that is not what I do when…” until I am up directing him and thinking good lord why doesn’t he just go up to bed and let me take care of it!

What do YOU hate about being sick with kids? Aside from the obvious not wanting to be sick….

Have a great crazy day!