You know how when your kid says something that isn’t funny, but the WAY they say it, MAKES it funny? And you know how that thing they are saying isn’t really all that appropriate to be yelling out in public, so the less attention you give it the better?
Right. So I’m failing at that.
This isn’t the first time I’ve failed at parenting. Failing at parenting is actually something I am quite good at.
If you remember, way back when, my older daughter took to whispering to me, “I HAVE A PENIS!” and I would burst out laughing and could not stop. I give it all caps because that indicates a child whisper, which is not a whisper at all but more like a scream that can be heard by the neighbors.
Fortunately, over time, she stopped. It had nothing to do with me stopping laughing every time she said it, I think she just thought to herself, “too easy, and now this is boring, so I am going to start running through the yard naked and see how that goes.”
I now find myself in a similar situation with my youngest. It started innocently enough. I had a routine when tucking my daughter in to bed. It went something like this:
I would cover her up and say, “Now your feet are going to bed” and I would squeeze her feet; “Now your legs are going to bed” and I would squeeze her legs; “Now your shoulders are going to bed” and I would squeeze her shoulders. I would end by saying, “now your head is going to bed” and I would kiss her on her head.
One night, she turned over, looked at me, smiled and said, “Is my bagina going to bed?”
I tried, oh I tried SO. HARD. not to laugh. But my cheeks started twitching and my eyes started tearing and I just couldn’t stop it.
Now, in the same vein as her sister, she comes up to me and says, “Hey mommy, BAGINA!” and I am helpless. HELPLESS.
I have created a monster. It is now her favorite word. She replaces words in songs with it. Example:
“Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-BAGINA!”
Or makes it into a joke:
This is my own fault, I realize this. I try walking away, she just runs after me, repeating it louder and louder. I hide in my room, she lays down and yells it from under the door.
Anyways, that is my most recent colossal parenting fail; failing to get my child to not say bagina.
Have a great crazy day!