The Holiday Season Is Not For Sitters

Holiday cheer. It’s everywhere. On TV, in shop windows, in grocery store aisles, on social media everything, on neighbors lawns, on the radio. Holiday cheer is keeping me busy.

The foods and treats to cook and bake. The gifts to buy, the gifts they NEED. The festive activities. The 5 things you MUST do with your kids this season! The 101 ideas for your Elf on the Shelf! The 25 most commonly yelled curse phrases while stringing the lights on the tree! The 91 different ways to make egg nog!

I’m exhausted. I’m not feeling the Christmas Spirit, I’m feeling the weight of exhaustion. I want to sit back with one of those 91 egg nogs, put my feet up and admire our tree at night. I want to sit with my kids and read Christmas stories. I want to….just sit.

But I can’t sit.The holidays are not for sitters.

I need to shop and I need to prepare. I need to get things and I need to wrap them. I need to pack and I need to travel and I need to cook and I need to do, not sit.

Oh! How I wish I could sit. Which reminds me, I still haven’t gotten the requisite picture of my kids sitting on Santa’s lap! Must get out calendar and squeeze that in, maybe between decking the halls and jingling the bells. One night, I began to sit myself down on the couch when all of a sudden my little elves came bounding in and jumped up next to me yelling, “Rudolf is on! Rudolf is on!” and they cozied up, taking my space, and settled in for an evening of Very Special Christmas Shows.

So I get up, and start doing again. Get out the flour, the sugar, the icing and recipes for 75 of your favorite Christmas Cookies, and while I’m at it, I may as well write down the ingredients for The Best Holiday Roast in 49 easy steps. Opening my newest Martha Stewart’s Living Magazine, the Holiday Edition, I look for different table settings and see how she carved napkin holders our of pine trees cut down at her organic Christmas Tree farm and 8 simple ways to make decorations which, I swear, include putting decorations on store bought Christmas Balls (yes, Dave, I said balls) which are themselves decorations. I draw the line at decorating my decorations.

Speaking of decorations, I remember that I haven’t turned on the Christmas lights outside, which seem quite measley across from the larger than life blow up Olaf and Santa’s elves that adorn our neighbor’s front yard. I straighten the garland on the front  porch and remember- THE ELF!- don’t let me forget to move the elf!

I check the mail and pull out a bundle of Christmas cards…oh DAMN! The family Christmas Card! Not only are they not sent, they aren’t even made! I run to my computer and scroll through all the pictures…nothing suitable…no cute outfit was ordered, no holiday props…time to get to the store and get the boxed version. Maybe I can write a holiday newsletter.

I hear my favorite line from Rudolf, “Bumbles Bounce!” because that is at the end of the movie and finally the kids can head off to bed and I can get the couch back and sit.

I go to help them brush teeth and think to myself, wow that holiday scented soap really smells like cookies, but sort of like burnt…….OMG THE CHRISTMAS COOKIES!!!

I rush to the kitchen and throw open the oven to a cookie sheet filled with Pinterest-fail Christmas cookies.

Defeated, I sit.

Close to tears, thinking of all the ways I failed to make my holidays festive, I look up to 2 little faces peering at me, eyes wide.

“Did you burn our cookies??”

“Yes, mommy burned Christmas.”

“Silly mommy, that’s okay! I’ll tell Santa to bring you some!”

I get hugs and squeezes and bedtime kisses and I love you’s.

THERE is my Christmas. My Christmas is wrapped up in My Little Pony jammies. No matter the lack of decorations or gifts or Pinterest worthy Christmas crafts or Martha Stewart looking meals, Christmas will be at my house.  Christmas will be jumping on me at 6am Christmas morning and making a mess of my house at 6:45am under the tree.

I get up. I can do this. Because I’m not a sitter.

And I’ve got to move that damn Elf.


Have a great crazy day and an even crazier holiday!



A Special Crazy Mom






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