You’ve heard of the mommy wars, yes? How could you not- it’s everywhere. Moms pitted against moms on how they should be, or how they are perceived to not be, parenting.
This war doesn’t seem to be waning. Moms are still all up in arms to defend how they parent and cut down others that don’t agree with them. Some moms even call other moms BAD MOMS because they don’t parent in the same way they do, which apparently is the “right” way to parent.
The SAHM v. Full Time Working Mom.
Breast Feeding v. Formula.
Baby wearing v. Stroller Pusher.
All organic v. food from a can.
You know what camp I’m in? The Honeybadger Moms. Just like the honey badger, I don’t give a shit. I don’t care what others think of my parenting, and I really could care less how you decide to parent your kids. That’s your business.
My parenting style is for my kids. Period. It is for their well-being. It is to instill in them values, morals, and a world view that my husband and I have determined to be important for us to pass on to them.
My parenting is not for anyone else. Thus, I don’t care what they think of it.
You know what I think about the parenting styles of others? Good for them. They are doing what they feel is good for the well-being of their children and are instilling in them values, morals, and a world view that is important to them.
You want to breastfeed in the middle of Old Navy while you clothes shop for your other kids? Go for it. You want to formula feed your kids from day one and use the generic target brand of formula? Good for you.
Your kids eat all organic everything, no exceptions? Kudos, mom!
Your kids had Lucky Charms for dinner? Whatever works for you!
You pick out your clothes for your kids and make sure everything is matchy-matchy, do their hair, and carry a tide stick in your purse? Power to you.
Your kids come downstairs ready for school wearing tights, a tutu, a plaid shirt and rainboots? Style on, mom.
I’m not in their shoes. I don’t know what their life experiences are. I don’t know what their day, night, week, month has been like. Besides, who the hell am I to tell them what to do?
A family may be all “being outdoors is the best!” while another family is fully embroiled in the tech industry. Maybe you grew up getting homemade meals served to you from veggies grown out in your garden; maybe you grew up getting frozen family dinners in front of Family Feud everynight. Maybe you had a combination of both.
How in the world is anyone else’s parenting style affecting you in the least? Why in the world would you care what other people think about your parenting? Are your kids happy? Are they loved? Are they kept out of imminent harm? Do you protect them? Do you teach them right from wrong?
GREAT. However you show them you love them, however you protect them- GOOD FOR YOU MOM! YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!
You think I should have my kid go to bed earlier/later? You think I should give them more fruits and veggies? You think I should give them more time/less time with tv? You think I should give them less/more freedom?
Here comes Honeybadger. I don’t care what you think. You are not their mom, you are not in my shoes, you do not know my family, you do not know what is important to me.
I don’t give a shit that you feed your kids spaghetti-o’s from the can or if you give them organic free-range beef meatballs with quinoa spaghetti.
I don’t give a shit that you let your kids run around barefoot in the neighborhood or if you make them wear protective gear walking down the sidewalk.
I don’t give a shit if you spend all day watching reruns of SpongeBob or if you spend the afternoon making crafts from old toilet paper rolls you’ve saved all year.
I am not sure when how one parent makes decisions for their family it started being taken as an insult by the parents that do something different. For example:
Mom 1: “OMG I am so tired, I can’t wait for my Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte to kick in! My kids hogged the bed all night and I barely slept, what with the feet in my face!”
Mom 2: “I let my kids cry it out, are you saying I’m a bad mom because I don’t let the rugrats climb in bed with me and they are going to require therapy because I didn’t cater to their every whimper?”
*STORMS OFF IN A SELF-RIGHTEOUS HUFF*
When did that start happening?
Parents- do your thing. To hell with what everyone else thinks. I think, admittedly, that we all want to be seen as doing the right thing when it comes to being a parent. When someone questions your parenting decisions, or outright declares them as the wrong thing to do, you take it personally.
The only people it really matters to is those in your immediate family. And if you think about it, you don’t let the kids call the shots, so really the only person it matters to is you.
And moms, you’re doing a great job.
Join me in being a Honeybadger Mom.
Have a great crazy day!