This weekend was a long weekend in our household for the Easter holiday. The entire family had work and school off Friday and Monday, and the weekend was chock full of family time plans.
With the long, holiday weekend also came the required photo’s: in our Easter best, of joyful faces Easter morning at the finding of eggs filled with chocolate scattered through the yard, of tasty looking Easter meals, looking happy spending time with our family in a variety of funfilled activities. You know the instagram/Facebook picture post drill.
These photo’s get shared and tweeted and posted in all their filtered lovliness on social media. “Likes” are clicked, comments are left about “what a lovely family!” you have, how “delicious!” that Easter meal looks, “what fun!” you all are having.
Then there is the other side. That’s right, the OTHER SIDE of instragram. Those lovely photo’s aren’t a “ruse”, but they are definitely misleading. Don’t get me wrong, my family got dressed up and looked beautiful, had a great meal and we spent a lot of quality, fun, wonderful time together.
But there is, indeed, another side to those perfect looking pictures. Today I am here to talk about THOSE stories. The REAL stories behind the perfect looking pictures.
1. The Family Photo
We all have posted them- first day of school photo’s, sitting on Santa’s lap photo’s, birthday party photo’s, perfect outfit wearing family photo’s. In these, everyone has smiles on their faces, they are looking at the camera, most likely are showing some sign of affection, and are dressed impeccably.
Our latest was the Easter Sunday photo. Behold, my well dressed angels!
There are smiles, there are hugs, there are no stains on clothes there are shoes on feet and bows in hair. That lasted a mere 30 seconds as the picture was being taken and threats of no more candy for the rest of the day unless they came over for this picture. Shoes were shed on the car ride to Grammy’s, hair bows were also lost enroute, or were in such disarray it didn’t matter they were in their hair. By days end chocolate ice cream was all down the front of dresses and they are now in heaps in the laundry room. Also, you can put a little girl in a dress, but you can’t make her stop rolling around on the floor to show everyone her My Little Pony underwear.
2. A fan favorite- or a major pet peeve for some- are posts on delicious looking, home cooked meals. Voila!
Beautiful deviled eggs. One Easter themed egg dish, the other passed down from my grandmother. Tradition AND holiday related! Beat that!
But let me tell you, getting to this point took 24 hours. That’s right, making these eggs took 24 HOURS!!!
Why? Well, I put the eggs in cold water and onto the stove to boil. While waiting, I ran to the bathroom. On my way out, I looked out the window and remembered that I needed to cut down the bush to make room for our garden fence. I get my garden gear, head out and start chopping down that bush. After around 45 minutes of hard labor, I go inside to reward myself with a beer. I open the front door and think to myself, “gosh, it really smells like egg in here!”. Then I remember and yell “CRAAAAAP!”, run to the stove and find the water all boiled up and exploded eggs in the empty pot. Since I had no eggs left, I had to go to the store. But since I’d been out engaging in hard labor, my nails were all chipped, so I made the executive decision that a trip to the salon was much more important. I eventually got the eggs made, around 20 minutes before we left the house the next day to go to brunch. But they look great, right!?
3. Oh, this is great. So, the weather was wonderful- sunny, partly cloudy, warm. After a seemingly endless winter, we were excited to get out of the house and go do something fun. Like a farm! We’ll go see the cute farm animals. We would have fun, together, as a family. And look:
Have you ever seen such cute piggy noses? SJ was so excited she was almost squealing louder than they were.
We happened to be there right when another litter of pigs were being born. They were so cute and pink and wiggly. Mahlie was so excited she was next to me wanting to get a better look. This is a huge deal for a girl that is walking around with her fingers in her nose yelling, “oh my gosh, what is that horrible smell?” every time we entered another barn. So I was really glad she’d forgotten about that. Then one of the farm workers opened the back of the pig pen and, I thought, was going to show us the newborn piggies up close.
No. Not so much. What we saw, up way too close, was the other end of momma pig.
Mahlie: “mommy, what is THAT?!” she practically yells in disbelief.
Me: “well, that is where the baby pigs come out…let’s just watch the farmer get the little piggy” I saw, trying to distract her.
But then, OH BUT THEN…the farmer puts on a BIG, BIG glove and before you could say, “slipperier than a wet pig!” she was all elbow deep in piggy vagina.
Mahlie: “OH MY GOD! I CAN’T SEE THIS ANYMORE! I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!” and she runs off.
Yeah, beat that.
After we retreated from the pig debacle, we decided to go hike down to the creek. It was really nice out now and a good family hike was a great idea. See:
It was, definitely, a great day. The girls LOOVED the hike. They loved playing next to the creek, climbing on the rocks, and floating leaves in the water to see if they would go all the way down the small waterfalls. I of course was ready for someone to fall in and get wet, and Mahlie was first to take the plunge. She gets up, arms soaking wet and she’s yelling, “oh my gosh, whatisthatwhatisthatwhatisthat!?!?” pointing to something clinging to her wrist. It was a leaf. Drama, nice to meet you.
I’m thinking, besides the pig vagina and the attack leaf, things are going pretty well.
Famous last words. When it was time to leave, of course SJ wanted to be carried. I like to think of myself as a pretty adventurous nature girl, so I was all confident carrying her across the creek.
Then I hit the slippery moss covered rock. Since I had SJ and a purse in one arm (because don’t all adventurous nature girls take their purse on hikes with them?), I had nothing to balance myself and I went down. Right onto the rocks, knees hitting first. SJ got a bit wet and may have hit her head, but let’s focus on me and my knees. I was in pain, I was soaked to the knees, and my jeans were covered in what I can only describe as “creek poop”. I’m limping my way out of the creek and some guy is standing there saying, “oh, did you fall?” in a deeply concerned voice, and when I start to answer him I realize he’s talking to SJ. Whatever, she was safe in daddy’s arms, getting carried back to the car. For me, it was a struggle. Then my uber concerned husband asked me, “so, do you want to go out to eat or do you want to go home?” I think we can all agree that was a divorce worthy question.
I can barely move today. I am injured. All I wanted to do was create a nice nature loving adventure for my family and I come away possibly with long standing structural knee injuries (this maaaaay be slightly exaggerated). BUT- fortunately for me, I’ve got the instagram worthy photo to show off.
So, my good people, remember this when you are looking at those perfect family photo’s on instagram: on the other side of those perfect pictures very well could be the equivalent of life long pain and suffering and a farmer elbow deep in pig lady parts.
I’d love to hear your “REAL” stories behind the “perfect” photos!
Have a great crazy day!