Oh, the news was a-swirlin’ that Jennifer Garner, actress and wife to Ben Afflect, mom to 3 kids, was pregnant again because of her very apparent “baby bump”.
On the Ellen show, she did, indeed, confirm that she has a baby bump. The audience cheered, but then she clarified that her baby bump was not because she was pregnant but because she has had 3 children and that “baby bump” was here to stay.
Best answer ever.
I get asked, almost 2 years after my youngest was born, if I am pregnant more often than I would like. It makes me look down at my belly and think “do I really look pregnant? Does my belly look that bad?”
And the answer is no. The answer is that people are rude to EV-AH comment on anyone’s body shape unless they are giving them a high-5 and the compliment “you look great, girl!”
I need to employ Ms. Garner’s answer as my own and PROUDLY answer, “why yes, it is a baby bump and my babies are 5 and almost 2!” We need more women to confidently and proudly state that their post baby bodies are beautiful. We need less people to ask stupid questions to women that don’t have “flat stomachs” as if the only explanation to that “bump” is that they are pregnant.
In a society that draws way too much attention to a woman’s physique and sets up unrealistic expectations for how one should “look”, I want to change that outlook for my daughters.
The other day my oldest was in my room as I was changing and looked at my belly, laughed, and said, “you have a fat belly, mommy!”
My first instinct was to say, “that’s not a nice thing to say”, I instead had her come closer.
“Put your hand on my belly”
She puts her hand on my belly and giggles.
“It’s feels pretty comfy, right? That belly was your home, and your sisters home, for a long time. And to be your home it had to grow to give you enough room. And when you were born my belly got smaller since you didn’t live there anymore. But it will always be a bit bigger and look like it was a baby’s home. And I love that.”
Having had struggles with eating disorders in my teens and early adolescence, this was a pretty big deal for me. In years past, the comment that my belly looked fat would send me into a spiral of bingeing and purging. Now, I have accepted myself. I have a healthy relationship with food, a much better body image, which I hope to pass on to my girls. I know all too well the challenges my girls face with self-esteem, body image, and trying to live up to society’s unrealistic expectations of what they should look like.
I plan on giving them the best start I can, and that comes with letting them know I find MYSELF beautiful, baby bump and all.
Have a great crazy day!