Happy Belated Independence Day ‘Merica!
I tried teaching my daughter about the significance of the 4th of July, and somehow her take away was “it is the Earth’s birthday so we need to keep it clean.”
Well. In her brain our “country” is the Earth and we need to keep it clean. Makes sense. Then she celebrates by throwing all her crap all over the house and yard. So apparently no lessons were learned about anything this weekend.
That is not entirely true. I learned several things this weekend and I am here to share my new wealth of knowledge with you! Settle in people.
1. Going to the National Aquarium is now our tradition, since this year made it the 2nd year in a row we have gone on the 4th of July. It is now an “annual” event. First thing learned is that aquariums are scared shitless of protestors after the whole Blackfin thing, so now there are no dolphin “shows”. The dolphin tank is just open all of the time and every so often a person gets up and tells you things about dolphins. Did you know that dolphins sleep while swimming? One half of their brain “sleeps” while the other half keeps them swimming. That is like me on a typical day.
2. Sarah doesn’t like moving walkways. They trigger her Drop and Give Up reflex.
3. On the 4th of July people REALLY like loud firecrackers. Which ALSO triggers Sarah’s Drop and Give Up relflex. Sarah spent a lot of time sprawled out on the floor in defeat this weekend.
4. Birds are angry a lot. Hence the game, I suppose. I know this because I spent my weekend avoiding a dive bombing sparrow on the back patio. I’d no idea why this crazy sparrow was so angry with me every time I went over to the cooler to get myself another Summer Shandy. I thought perhaps it was jealous because they are DELICIOUS. Then when I went to dead head the geraniums that are above the cooler I practically got an eye taken out. Which is when I realized there was a nest of baby birds in my potted hanging geraniums. And then of course I continued to have to the avoid the dive bombing sparrow because now I am obsessed with looking at the baby birds.
5. Mahlie LOOOOOVES sparklers but is pretty much scared to death of anything else fireworks related. That doesn’t prevent her from wanting us to light them off and then running and hiding behind her dad. And perhaps 4 is too young to give a supersized sparkler because when it is finished and the end is still red hot they do not necessarily know that poking their mother with it to “put it out” will actually cause pain.
6. Give a husband a long weekend to “get stuff done around the house” and he will research how to insulate an outside cooler and install a TV arm so he can see the game better from his leather chair, but NOT actually “get stuff done around the house”.
So, those are my lessons learned. Hopefully you all were able to take something away from these….such as, “I am never having kids” or “I am never leaving my kids at her house”, and “no wonder she drinks so much wine”. Pehaps even, “I’ve no idea really what she was talking about” (that is pretty common).
Well, at least I have pictures to go with it!
Thanks for stopping by! Have a great crazy day!