Things Kids Say That Sound Naughty, But Aren’t

They say “Kids Say The Darndest Things!” And usually when they say one of those “darndest things” you are somewhere quiet, like church or the doctor’s waiting room and everyone, without question, heard what your little angel said and what they said did not sound angelic.

Usually when kids start to talk they adorably mispronounce words. Well, usually it’s adorable. Like when your kid says “skameeto” for “mosquito” or “Flying Mango” for “flamingo”.

However, sometimes it is mortifying, especially when your daughter’s first word is “sock” yet she pronounces the first letter with a “C” instead of an “S” and she likes to yell that word A LOT. In public places.

Then, finally, they are pronouncing words correctly and no longer yelling male bits and parts through the grocery store.

But now they start talking about things that are innocent, but to bystanders it sounds like they live in a brothel.

Just me? Great.

But come on. I am sure there are some of you out there that have experienced the conversation with your child that is as innocent as it gets, yet sounds outrageously awful. The following is the conversation I overhead this weekend. I was in the kitchen and Sweets was in the living room with Pi. I couldn’t see what was going on, I could only hear what they were saying.

“Daddy, can I cut out your balls? They are such colorful balls. Maybe I can sell these balls…I like these small ones”

I spit out my coffee and start coughing uncontrollably. I try to yell “what the hell?” but I am choking and unable to speak.

I stumble out into the living room and Pi is laughing and Sweets is sitting there cutting shapes out of construction paper…beach balls that Pi drew her and then she colored them in. And then she found some Styrofoam balls in an art kit and wanted to sell them.

THAT is what the conversation was about.

And THAT is what led my daughter to stand out on the front walkway, in the rain, holding an umbrella, screaming, “BALLS! BALLS! BALLS! for sale!”

Anyone else have kid conversations that sound naughtier, but aren’t??

Have a great crazy day!


6 thoughts on “Things Kids Say That Sound Naughty, But Aren’t

  1. YES!!! Just last week Ashley and I decided to write down all of the things our kids say that would bed…QUESTIONABLE…if heard out of context….but I’m not sure any of them were as good as “Can I cut out Daddy’s balls?” Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

  2. My third kid couldn’t get “c’s” to come out. They were “p’s.” And he loved corn. So he would scream “porn” all the way through the grocery store. Happy times! 🙂

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