Everyone has their one “thing” they argue about with their significant other. Usually, so studies say, it is about money, or disciplining the kids, or who steals more covers on the bed at night.
Ours is about chickens. We argue about that more often than one would think. Oh, and every time we drive through a long stretch of woods we argue about dead bodies.
Me: “There are probably dead bodies in there.”
Pi: “There are not any dead bodies in those woods.”
Me: “There is no way you can prove there isn’t. You read in the news about dead bodies being found in the woods all the time.”
Pi: “It is amazing how often you think about dead bodies in the woods. It’s irrational. There are no dead bodies, you’d be able to smell them.”
Me: “Not if you cover them in lyme and then they disintegrate and the animals get em.”
Pi: “You scare me.”
Me: “But you know I’m right.”
So okay, our arguments are about chickens and dead bodies mostly. But now…
It’s about a missing snow scraper. Well, it’s actually turned into whether he’s a liar or I’m crazy. That’s the UNSPOKEN argument, anyways.
It all started one day last week when I got up for work, opened the door to go to my car and “where the hell did this snow come from?”
I had not planned on there being snow, so now I had to warm up the car, clear it off. Ugh. Good thing I have a really good snow scraper in my trunk.
I opened my trunk. Well, it USED TO BE in my trunk.
It has snowed the week before and Pi had cleared off the cars so I trudged BACK INSIDE, got his car keys and went to his car.
I am now not amused.
I go back inside. Go upstairs, grumbling to myself the whole time.
“Where is the snow scraper??”
Pi, still sleeping. Not helping the situation. “It’s in your trunk.”
I go BACK outside, open my trunk.
NO. SNOW. SCRAPER.
I look in his car again.
NO. SNOW. SCRAPER.
I go back to my car, look in the back seat on the floor. No. Scraper.
Now I am loudly cursing, hoping that he is hearing all this while he is warm, still in bed, sleeping, while I am out in the cold with NO. SNOW. SCRAPER.
So I go inside and get the broom and clear off my car. And then you know what I did?
I cleared off Pi’s car. Because I am nice like that. Even though he has misplaced my snow scraper.
So I get to work and send him a message: “FIND THE SNOW SCRAPER!”
Around 20 minutes later I get a text from him with a whole bunch of red angry face icon’s on it. Followed by a picture of the snow scraper.
In my trunk.
Me: “Thanks for putting it back.”
Pi: “I didn’t. It was there when I opened your trunk.”
Me: “No. I looked all through my trunk and it was not just laying there on the very top of everything (as indicated in the picture). You put it back.”
Pi: “Why would I do that???”
Me: “Because you took my scraper and forgot to put it back.”
Pi: “So, you are saying that I am lying?”
Me: “Are you saying I am crazy?”
Pi: “You have been known to walk around the house looking for your glasses and your phone with your glasses on your head. While talking on your phone.”
That happened a week ago. Now everytime I am looking for something I get a little comment: “hope you look harder than you did for your snow scraper.”
If he doesn’t put something back in the right spot: “Just like with the snow scraper.”
You know those dead bodies in the woods? They are probably there after having an argument with their spouse about a missing snow scraper.
Have a great crazy day!