The Great Flying With Kids Debate: The Right to an Annoyance Free Flight

When you have family in different areas of the country, in order to keep up with them and see their kids before they graduate college, you need to have face to face visits. So you make travel plans a couple times a year to go see them. And sometimes those travel plans might include flying.

Nooooooooooooo.

Flying with kids

The thought of traveling on a plane with kids is the stuff nightmares are made of. No one is more scared of kids misbehaving or babies crying and drawing the ire and dirty glances of fellow travelers more than the parent(s) of said misbehaving child or incessantly crying baby.

There have been horror story upon horror story of mistravels with kids. They screamed the whole time, they kicked the chair in front of them the whole time, they pooped and stunk up the whole plane, they puked and stunk up the whole plane, they talked incessantly the ENTIRE. FLIGHT. They walked up and down the aisle the ENTIRE. FLIGHT.

Believe me- every scenario and then some go through every parents head leading up to their plane ride. Sometimes their worst nightmare comes true, sometimes they get the luck of the draw and their kids were great.

You never know what you are going to get. You can be as prepared as you can be and your kids raise holy hell. You can be on a last minute emergency flight with barely a plan in place and your kids are awesome.

As a parent, I sympathize with the parents.

As a traveler, I sympathize with the other travelers.

It is not an ideal situation. But here is the thing: No one is guaranteed an annoyance free flight.

Where is it written that anyone has the RIGHT to an annoyance free flight? Please, someone show me. Because if we as US Citizens are missing some crucial part of the Constitution that says we have the right not to be annoyed, I would like to know and have it put back in there.

Because that is what a screaming, pooping, puking, smelly, seat kicking child is. An annoyance.

You know what else is annoying?

The person that hogs both arm rests.

The person that brings on the stinky sandwich.

The person that brought on said stinky sandwich that is now letting loose other, more noxious, stinkiness for the remainder of the flight.

The person that snores loudly next to you the ENTIRE. FLIGHT.

The person that, regardless of all subtle hints you do not want to talk, insists on peppering you with questions and stories for the ENTIRE. FLIGHT.

The person that gets up,over and over, to go use the restroom. On a one hour flight.

The person that has on the headphones but the music is up so high you can hear every explicit lyric as if you had the headphones on yourself.

The person sitting next to you that’s reading over your shoulder.

The person that argues with the flight attendance about EVERY.LITTLE.THING.

The person that hacks and coughs and sneezes the whole flight and says, “don’t worry, I’m not contagious.”

The person that takes up WAY.MORE. than their allotted seat space.

Sometimes you are sitting next to someone that smells like they haven’t showered in days.

The fact that the middle seat has enough space for a toddler yet you need to sit there between stinky sandwich person and arm rest hog the ENTIRE. FLIGHT.

There are many annoying things about travel- long lines at security, lost bags, delayed and or cancelled flights , overbooked flights, and flights stuck at the gate or on the tarmac for hours.

To the people that say: “Families with kids should stay home, not travel, lock themselves in their houses and not expose the rest of us to their children!” I say F**k You. Great, you decided to stay child-free (or at least you are for the moment, this post may strike an entirely different chord down the line if that ever changes). But the world is not child free. Do I condone kids running wild with no guidance from their parents? No. But that does not mean families should stay grounded until their children are adults.

There are airlines that now offer non-kid flights. Take one of those!  If you want to be on a flight without the worry of ending up on one with kids, get a private jet.

What? No money for that?

Well, join the rest of us that have to deal with many annoyances that come with traveling. WE ALL paid for our seat. WE ALL paid to get from one place to another and that is the ONLY thing that is guaranteed. And hell, sometimes even THAT isn’t guaranteed.

Sometimes planes drop out of the sky. I’ll take a crying baby over that ANY. DAY.

Have a travel horror story?

Have a great crazy day!!

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3 thoughts on “The Great Flying With Kids Debate: The Right to an Annoyance Free Flight

  1. You know, I’ll take a kid next to me over most of the other options you listed. Now that my kids are older and are respectful fliers, I seem to attract flights with small children. But my years of training allow me to tune out their noise. And hey, I’m on vacation, so it could be worse, right?

    • I know! Everyone should just get a drink and relax. When they get off the plane, they leave the crying child behind. The parents get to take it with them!

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