It’s tough growing up. I’m not talking about Sweets, I’m talking about me.
I may be an adult, but I’m still growing up. I still have growing pains in my marriage, in my parenting, and in experiencing things that suck. Like parents getting older. Like parents dying.
My parents are still around, god bless ’em. I know they won’t be forever but, like a little girl, I like to pretend they will be.
But now I am at an age where the loss of a parent is an all too real possibility. And I am attending wakes, funerals and sending sympathy cards to friends that have already lost a parent.
Gosh. Growing up can really suck.
(Sorry if this post freaks you out mom. I’m not planning on your demise, really!)
Last night I attended the wake for the father of one of my close friends. He’s not someone I stay in touch with on a regular basis, but we had a close relationship (okay, fine, we dated for quite a long while) and keep up through the standard social media means and occasional group gatherings.
Unfortunately, the group gathering last night was for the loss of his dad.
It sucked seeing my friend so sad. And I’m not the best at offering condolences because I’m scared if I say too much I’ll start crying and I was there to support him, not to turn into a big globby mess in front of him.
So I kept it short and sweet, “sorry for your loss” and a quick hug. I think instead of “sorry for your loss” I actually said something more along the lines of “that really sucks”. What is my problem??
On my way home I was sort of in a sad state thinking about him losing his dad. His brother just ran his 7th Marine Corps Marathon on Sunday as a tribute to a friend killed in Afganistan and his race shirt had his friends name on it. He was considering not running, then he pinned an additional sign to his back saying “and for my dad” and went ahead with the race. Good for him, still running.
You do what you need to do. Is it okay to keep up with your regular plans? I say yes, if that is what makes you feel better.
Is it okay to laugh in times like this? Losing someone is hard and it’s sad. But by remembering them you remember the good times, and those are full of happy, fun, and laughable moments.
This morning I sent my friend an encouraging message as he was giving a speech at the service today. His biggest concern was how his son would do in church at the service today. Called him ‘a wild card”.
He’s a kid, so chances are pretty good that, not understanding the somber protocol of a funeral service, he’ll do something to earn the ire of his parents and the stifled laughs of those in attendance. Kids happen to know just the right time when people need a good laugh.
And that’s okay. Because kids remind us that you do move on. You can make it through another day. There are still laughs to be had and smiles to put on your face.
There will be many sad times as we grow older, but our kids, in all their awesome innocence, keep us waking up and smiling.
When I got home from the wake in a pretty somber mood myself, Pi met me with: “well, there was an incident.”
That is not really the first thing I wanted to hear when I got home.
“Sweets wanted to play on the patio while I fed Noggin. And when I looked out after around 5 minutes, her clothes were all over the place and she was laying naked in the garden bed covering herself up with dirt.”
I bust out laughing. The look on his face indicated he did not think the situation was at all amusing, but to me it was the just the right amount of non-dangerous, totally ridiculous, outrageously funny kind of “incident” that I needed to pull me out of my funk.
So I hope my friends son got some smiles out of people today, because I know they need it. I hope he pulled out a great wild card and gave an otherwise dark day a ray of sunshine.
Because that is what kids do best.
Have a great crazy day!