You know the Barenaked Ladies song “If I Had A Million Dollars”? If not, for shame. If so, it lists a bunch of ridiculous things one would buy if they had a million dollars including, and my fav, a monkey (I always wanted a monkey).
One thing I would NOT do is spend it on a birthday party for my kids. Not even a little bit of it.
One, I am only organized enough to begin planning and preparing a themed Birthday Party in my head. When it comes to carrying out said plans, it’s like 2 days before Sweets’ birthday and by then I am all “let’s get pizza and cupcakes and be done with it”.
And you know what? Sweets loves it. Has a great time! No complaints! Imagine that! Kids just want to hang out with their friends, family and eat a little cake. Okay, a LOT of cake.
When it comes to kids’ birthday’s I am astounded the amount of time, effort and I am sure money is poured into bday parties! There are theme parties and destination parties and close down your street and have a block party parties. Whoa. For a PRESCHOOLER?? They have fun playing in DIRT! Dig a hole, fill it with water and make a party out of it! They’d have a blast!
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE birthday’s, especially my own. I make a month out of it. But all the hype that now comes with kids’ birthday parties? No thank you. Sweets’ birthday is coming up and soon and
I haven’t started doing a darn thing I am busy making plans.
Here are my top beefs with Kids’ Birthday Parties.
1. The over the top decorating. I got the newest Chasing Fireflies catalog that was dedicated to birthdays I realized that the market for huge kid bday parties is just out of hand! And there is no way to compete with the images in this mag. Take a look.
These were the decorations at Sweets’ 3rd Birthday:
Well, I tried to find a picture of the decorations except there were none. No balloons, no streamers…I think perhaps there were cupcake decorated napkins. And the look on her face tells you exactly how she felt not having it look like a birthday catalog threw up all over the party:
2. Who to invite. Apparently now you are not allowed to invite a couple kids aka “friends” from your child’s class to her birthday party. You must invite the ENTIRE class. That is so you don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. SERIOUSLY? This is like the “everybody gets a trophy” kind of thing with sports (Which I am against, people- nothing wrong with a little competition!). It is OKAY to not be friends with everyone. It is okay to not want to invite someone you are not friends with to your party. If you are the parent of a child that didn’t get an invitation to a birthday party, you teach them that not everybody gets invited to everything. It’s okay. And honestly, I don’t want my daughter to get invitations to birthday parties from all her classmates because that will be a BUTTLOAD of plans on many weekends, some probably on the same day. What a logistical nightmare! Sweets is turning 4- after her 2 cousins she gets to invite 4 friends. And she is OKAY WITH THAT. I know some people like to invite as many kids as possible for….
3. The presents. Have you seen my house? Read this and come on back. I do not have room for more stuff….more stuff that will be put away and forgotten about until 1 hour after I have throw it away months from now. All she has asked for is a balloon. She asks for a balloon every birthday and for some reason I’ve never gotten her one. What is my problem?
And for anyone thinking of buying Sweets anything with millions of small pieces (you know who you are…) or that makes noise reconsider. My sanity is at stake. When I say “no gifts please” on the invitation I really do mean it. I break the no gift rule on a pretty frequent basis, so if you really feel inclined, please make it a cupcake. A Cupcake. hint hint.
4. The destinations. What ever happened to the good ole days of throwing a backyard bash with a piñata, some cake and a couple games of pin the tail on the donkey? Why do we need to go to Moonbounce world (where you need to sign a waiver, fyi. Yes, please come to my bday party but if you hurt yourself,sorry! Not on me!) or Germ o’ Rama video game land and stuff? And for girls…the spa treatments…really? Mani’s and Pedi’s and facials and massages? And then a tea party? OMG, mini-bridezillas! Sweets will be having her birthday party at the local spray park. For the 3rd year in a row. Hey, it has water, she’ll have cake, it’s free…we’ll ALL be happy!
5. Catering to adults. I am not sure when kid birthday parties turned into kids and their parents parties. I remember my mom dropping me off, laughing maniacally as she sprinted back to the car, and picking me up a few hours later, looking much refreshed with a fresh hairdo and manicure. I mean, moms LIVED for other kids’ birthday parties because it meant an afternoon alone! Now it’s “holy crap I have to go to 3 birthday parties!”. Now, as the parent you now have to buy booze (and my friends can DRINK buddy. Because they all have kids), but you also have built in kid watchers. But should it be required?
Please, let me know your thoughts on kids birthday parties (before I send out these invitations!).
Have a great crazy day!