What the hell, pants makers??

So, yesterday I was going to a Derby Party at a friends house and I had my outfit all picked out. No, I didn’t have any fancy hat or shi-shi dress for the occasion, but I had a cute outfit picked out. I was going to look good with my kids in tow. You know, the hot mom.


I had to try on 10 PAIRS OF PANTS!!!

I don’t know what has happened! Well, I do know what’s happened, I gained weight because I stopped nursing and didn’t stop eating the 500 extra calories a day.

But I swear like half of these pants fit just the other day!

I waited a year and a half before I started exercising after Sweets was born and I told myself I was hitting weight watchers as soon as this one popped out. So I’ve been exercising and eating right (e.g. not finishing Sweets’ dinner and then eating mine)- and even drinking detox water ALL. DAY.

But when you haven’t had beer in over a year and you’re used to having ice cream every night before bed, well, plans get screwed up.

And really, the pants makers are NOT. HELPING.

One pair I own is a size 4, it fits and is even somewhat loose (okay, do not get all “omg she is complaining and she is a SIZE 4! Keep reading).

Then the next pair is a size 10 and I can’t get them over my thighs.

2 pairs of size 6’s fit perfect (okay, read perfect as “I only have to suck in a LITTLE bit and it doesn’t cut my circulation off when I sit down) and the other 3 create something that can’t even be considered a muffin top. It’s like a muffin top that has eaten a couple other muffin tops.

What. The. Hell.

It doesn’t help that 2 people have asked me if I was pregnant in the last 2 days. Seriously, do they not know anything? Well, they were both guys. Question answered.

Back to the pants making people.

Get together and figure your shit out. One persons size 4 should be everyone’s size 4. Don’t make me feel all, “Yay, I am pre-pre-pre-pre-pregnancy weight!” and then when I got to buy more size 4’s in a different brand I am all, “I am my 8 months pregnant weight!”.

Do you pants makers not know that women HATE trying on pants? So we find a size that fits and then order all our shit online? And when we get them in the mail and are all, “Yay! I didn’t need to go try on pants in a dressing room!” until we try them on and realize, “shit, they don’t fit and they are going to sit in my closet until I lose weight because I am too damn lazy to slap that return receipt on a box”.

So pants people, you are on my list. Be warned.

muffin top


Click on the sexy kangaroo for more great posts! It’s HUMP DAY!

A Mother Life


3 thoughts on “What the hell, pants makers??

  1. The other people on my personal list are crockpot recipe writers. They are terrible! Pretty much all crock pot recipes suck! Pant makers and crock pot recipe writers need to get with the program, I agree!

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