Seriously, I don’t know what I was about to say. These days I am lucky I can make it to the end of a sentence without forgetting what I was going to say. That’s right- smack dab in the middle of a sentence….total blank. Conversations with me are so much fun, sort of like mad libs. And everyday tasks? I start one, forget what I was doing and start another one. This is how cleaning goes:
I walk into the living room and come across the dustpan on the sofa, “oh yeah! I was sweeping” so I go back to get the broom and when I walk through the kitchen to get the broom, I see the dishes in the sink so I start doing the dishes. Now I’m tired so I go to the living room to sit down and rest and find the dustpan on the sofa. “Oh yeah! Sweeping!”. So I go BACK to the kitchen and notice a spot on the floor so I get the mop to mop the floor. Now I’m REALLY tired. So I go to the living room to go rest on the sofa. Ugh. The dustpan.
Yeah. That happens.
Yesterday I was defrosting hamburger meat in the microwave and when I went to take it out realized it was still sitting out on the counter. There’s 6 minutes I won’t get back.
Don’t even talk to me about grocery shopping. I ALWAYS forget something. Pi told me I should make a list. Really? Wish I’d thoght of that. Oh, wait, I DID have a list, I just forgot one of the things that I had written down and included on the list. The other day I was in dire need of coffee….that was the ONLY reason I was making this trip to the store. $50 and 15 items later I get home and yes, you guessed it, NO COFFEE!
I just had something awesome to add to that but I’ve forgotten what it was. I think it was something funny and witty that I had thought of to say to Pi after his “did you make a list?” comment- after the fact, of course, b/c during the conversation I didn’t think of it. Now I am just sitting here staring at the screen.
There of course are the typical “where are my key’s?” (in my hand), “where are my sunglasses?” (on my head), “where is the baby”….where IS the baby? Yesterday I “heard” the baby crying in her room , went to get her and SHE’S NOT THERE! I had a few seconds worth of panic before I remembered I had taken her to the nanny. Thank goodness I didn’t call 911 to report a kidnapping! That would have been a fun conversation:
“What’s your emergency?”
“My baby is gone! She was right here a minute ago and now she is gone!”
“Ma’am, calm down, I’ll send police right away”
“I don’t know how this could have happened, I was RIGHT HERE! How could they have gotten in?”
“Did you check all your other rooms?”
“yes, she’s nowhere- and besides, she can’t walk, she’s 3 months old!”
“are there signs of a break in?”
“no, but her car seat is gone……and her coat….and her diaper bag….OH’.
“Everything okay ma’am? Police are almost there”
“oh, well, there’s been a misunderstanding….she’s at the nanny’s”
“Oh, did the nanny take your baby?”
“well, no- I dropped her off earlier. I just forgot”.
“You are obvisoulsy not a mother…” Hang up.
But did you know there is actually a real condition called Transient Global Amnesia? This is where you are going about your business and ALL OF A SUDDEN FORGET HOW YOU GOT THERE and forget everything about your recent events. It typically comes back quickly, sometimes lasting only several hours, though it can last for up to a day or so. And it might not ever happen again and isn’t related to any other medical condition.
True story- my friend who is a teacherr was in class when all of a sudden had no recollection of getting there. She told me she actually had to look down to make sure she was wearing pants. Yeah, that’s bad. In a room full of students she had to ask them how long she had been there (around an hour), if they had aleady taken attendance to the office (they had, and had answered that question 4 times) and could someone please run and get the Principal (that had already been done). She’s telling me this story and I still can’t get past the part about not being sure she was wearing pants. Isn’t that a nightmare everyone has had? Thankfully she WAS wearing pants and the doctor confirmed she had TGA (seriously, I told you it was a real thing) and told her this incident may never happen again. Her mother told her to calm down, relax and go out and get some fresh air. She told the doctor what her mother said, hoping to elicit some sympathy and comment on how her mom “isn’t a doctor and doesn’t know what she’s talking about this is serious” when he said, “well, she’s not wrong. Is she a nurse?”. Boom. No, she’s not. Said friend is fine now, though all of us do a quick pants check on her when we see her. Just to make sure.
And let’s be clear, forgetting to wear pants is a lot different than not wanting to wear pants, which is pretty common around here.
Have a great crazy day! Don’t forget your pants! And don’t forget, click on the pic to get more great blog reads!